Quandry

[zebraflavencs]

Okay. wondered when specifics might come into play.
Here goes.
We were discussing certain "faiths", and though she isn't really a christian, she says she practices aspects of this faith.
One of our number is highly faithful, an other follows an older, less organized sort of faith, then there is the one that was raised Hindi.

This finally came to a boil when our friend mentioned that even though she doesn't follow certain practices in her faith, she didn't think that the Hindi or the one in the older, had valid reasons to practice publically their faith.

I have to admit.. I was very upset. Not to mention the two castigated for their own beliefs, which they never push on any of us, while the first is always blah blah blahing her "belief".

So you see... this is rather touchy a situation on all counts.
Perhaps this information will bring out more suggestions.
Janie

 

[Craiger]

Okay. wondered when specifics might come into play.
Here goes.
We were discussing certain "faiths", and though she isn't really a christian, she says she practices aspects of this faith.
One of our number is highly faithful, an other follows an older, less organized sort of faith, then there is the one that was raised Hindi.

This finally came to a boil when our friend mentioned that even though she doesn't follow certain practices in her faith, she didn't think that the Hindi or the one in the older, had valid reasons to practice publically their faith.

I have to admit.. I was very upset. Not to mention the two castigated for their own beliefs, which they never push on any of us, while the first is always blah blah blahing her "belief".

So you see... this is rather touchy a situation on all counts.
Perhaps this information will bring out more suggestions.
Janie

She's out of line. We all have every right to practice whatever faith we desire.

 

[crypticdragons]

Okay. wondered when specifics might come into play.
Here goes.
We were discussing certain "faiths", and though she isn't really a christian, she says she practices aspects of this faith.
One of our number is highly faithful, an other follows an older, less organized sort of faith, then there is the one that was raised Hindi.

This finally came to a boil when our friend mentioned that even though she doesn't follow certain practices in her faith, she didn't think that the Hindi or the one in the older, had valid reasons to practice publically their faith.

I have to admit.. I was very upset. Not to mention the two castigated for their own beliefs, which they never push on any of us, while the first is always blah blah blahing her "belief".

So you see... this is rather touchy a situation on all counts.
Perhaps this information will bring out more suggestions.
Janie

Sorry I can't give you any input on the public practice or discussion of faith cause 1 I am atheist and 2 I believe that people's personal choices to follow religion x or religion y is their personal business and is not something that should be discussed in a public setting, there are churches and mosques and whatever else that are built for that. When I have to sit near someone basically preaching their beliefs at another person in public I liken it to being forced as a non-smoker to sit by someone puffing away or having to hear the intricate details of someone's sex life when I would rather just not. sorry

 

[renich]

Wow, that is a tough place to be in. I guess I may not be a good one to give advice. You see, I am a very open minded person. And I try very hard not to judge folks because you never know what it is like until you live in someone else's shoes and that is impossible to do.

However, we need to be courteous to each other and respect other's situations, beliefs, etc. There is always a big picture and those that cannot see the big picture are often times offensive to others.

I think this person needs to be aware that she has offended the group. And if they don't understand then they are probably not worth your time. I know, it can make an awkward situation at work, but we've all worked with that person....

 

[beardielover17]

Wow, reading that comment just makes me want to explode. Granted I'm farrrrrr from religious and am Agnostic with my own beliefs added in but I respect everyone else's beliefs too (I live in/married into a family if every belief and no belifs). Who's to say they don't have a right to practice their religion? That is a pretty ignorant statement on that person's behalf. I can see things getting ugly very quickly unless it gets nipped now.

 

[zebraflavencs]

Thanks... All suggestions made are valid in my eyes...
I'll leave this open so everyone can offer a suggestion.
Thanks again everyone...
Janie

 

[beardielover17]

I could understand the person lashing out with a comment like that if the others were pushing their religions/faiths but if they haven't, that's just wrong IMO.

 

[Stephanie is a Rockstar]

Punch her in the nose next time...

In all honesty, just tell her straight up. Knock it off, or GTFO.

 

[li]

Wow...you really are in a quandary Janie. Personally I think her comments were completely out of line, but that is my opinion. And guess what, those where hers and even though we think she was out of line, she has every right to say that (even though she is a jerk, lol). Maybe you could question her remarks to find out if you misconstrued what she said. You could say something like...."hey, I know you always say off-sided remarks and joke about this and that, I was just wondering if what you said about those religions are really how you feel or where you joking". That way you will get an idea of where you stand. If she was joking...pfew, you are good. If not, you might possibly lose a friend if you say anything.

 

[zebraflavencs]

I think I am feeling I would be the one on the outside.. Here is why. We all have displayed discomfort at this type of situation, which happens fairly often enough.
If I were to confront this woman, by myself either privately or publicly,meaning in our group, would anyone else back me up ?
Usually I am fairly open minded, but there are times.. I tend to hesitate.
Usually because I am not sure of myself or my information is correct.
If no one else backs me up... then where does that leave me ?
And it could be for any amount of reasons, no one would back me up.
See... oh... quandary.
Janie

 

[beardielover17]

I think I am feeling I would be the one on the outside.. Here is why. We all have displayed discomfort at this type of situation, which happens fairly often enough.
If I were to confront this woman, by myself either privately or publicly,meaning in our group, would anyone else back me up ?
Usually I am fairly open minded, but there are times.. I tend to hesitate.
Usually because I am not sure of myself or my information is correct.
If no one else backs me up... then where does that leave me ?
And it could be for any amount of reasons, no one would back me up.
See... oh... quandary.
Janie

In that instance Janie, be a bit selfish. If you were offended by this think of it as you correcting things to better your time at the job. If you saw/heard this 1st hand then you have every right to mention it to her (in a polite manner of course).

 

[Vesta]

Janie!! I deal with all kinds of people, at church mostly!!! They are the ones who really should know better than to say things that might hurt people. I usually try to keep my mouth shut( I say try because I don't always succeed) if after a few days it is still bothering me I will say something in the nicest way I know how. Usually after a few days though I realize that I say stupid stuff too and hope people understand I was only fooling around and it got out of hand.

But if it is someone who is just being a jerk and saying things to try to get under your skin. Then she needs a good talking to and in the most clear way you know how set her straight about the way she is coming across to you and others!!! If she gets mad and wants nothing to do with you. Move on.....Lifes too short for that type of person to be in your life!!! You have plenty of people in your life who do not want to play games. Who needs that?

There's another type of person who honestly just don't know how to be nice. They have been raised to only think of themselves and it never occurs to them to think of how someone else might feel about ANYTHING!!! They are so self absorbed that their world only revolves around them. If you confront that type of person they will be genuinely surprised and will not know how to react. I have to feel sorry for that type. It also makes me laugh!! I've had to deal with this type and they are absolutely clueless!!!!


Whatever you decide. Don't spend to much time letting it bother you. Deal with it quickly and move on!!!

 

[ladyknite]

interesting post here.

speaking from a very personal view, you either consider the issue at hand a problem, or your problem. Either remove yourself from the problem (therefore eliminating it) or remove the problem from you (therefore eliminating it)

remember, i'm literal.

 

[Vesta]

Janie!!! I'm sorry!! I missed the entire second page!! You know we are born again Christians!!! Usually I don't need to bring up the fact of what I believe because other people want to know what exactly makes me tick. I am not one of those super pious, believe only what I believe types!!! And they see that right away!! I am also VERY interested in what others believe and how they came to their conclusions!!! I have learned so much from people who believed nothing like I believed. I NEVER argue about religion. It's pointless and everyone has a right to believe what they want!!! I DID stand up for myself once because my religion was being bashed over and over again. He was more into satanism and openly disliked Christians!! I said what I had to and left the forum!!! I have NO time for someone who is so intolerant of others believes but expects me to listen to whatever comes out of thier mouth no matter how offensive it may be to me!! A good friend(LISA!!!) gave me good advice when I told her about it much later. And that was that she NEVER discussed religion. And there have been times when I was tempted to get into a debate and that remark always comes to mind. If someone wants to argue, don't even go there with them. No spark, no flame!!!

This is a simple situation. You say to her in a nice way that, that remark may have really hurt your other friends feelings and that she has a right to her religion and beliefs and probably in the future it might be best if you NOT talk religion in the work place. She will probably apologize. Not realizing how that remark sounded. Good Luck!!

 

[Vesta]

Yeah!! Gina!! When I was younger I used to worry about what others might think of me(self-centeredness) But as I got older I realized I don't like everyone else so how could I expect everyone to like me!!!

If I'm not comfortable with someone of a situation. Like Gina said. I eliminate the situation. Shrug it off and move on!!!

I am trying to be a little more tolerant though or at least try to be nice. My kids tell me there is a look I have that let's people know that they are about to step over the line!!! And if they do, it will not go well for them!!!! I am a face maker. I usually will laugh if someone is being snotty to me!!! Can't stand snotty women. I laugh right in their faces!! My skin as gotten VERY thick over the years!!!

Again!! I hope some of this helps!!