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I don't know for sure since I don't do dubias, but I would think extra small would be too small, kinda like pinhead crickets. Small would probably be better.
I don't use dubias they creep me out. I bought 5 last summer to see if Dexter and Luci would eat them. At the reptile store they demonstrated how their dragons LOVED them. I was real excited because Dexter was being a picky eater when I got them home, neither of them were overly excited about them so I never bought them again and I was okay with that!
I would guess you could feed them like any other feeder. Hopefully someone that uses them will chime in too.
I feed both of mine dubias and super worms. The worms are like crack – they love them. The dubias I use as a staple. My girl devours them. My boy tolerates them. I also breed them. The babies – nymphs – I feed a good number of those to my geckos. Yes they can be creepy but – they're just another of Gods creations. And – like anything else – yeah get used to it. They don't smell – they don't make noise – they dont jump out of the bins. I buy crickets for the geckos as a treat. Dubias don't grow fast. I highly recommend facing your fears. Well – at least on this issue. The sizing seems to be relative. But I also think that small would probably be sufficient. Buy plenty –. Or get a mix of extra small and small and see what you get – they will grow
I had issues with having roaches in my house but my girl loves them so much I couldn't stop buying them now. Once I got over it being a "cockroach" they aren't any more disgusting than crickets.
I would stick with smalls for a 3/4 mo old.
I keep ordering larger ones each time since they expensive and he is growing fast. I am ordering 3/4 inch right now he is 4 months. I guess it depends on your dragons size. He is eating adult crickets easily to compare. I like the roaches better. I feed crickets too but the dubias are easier. I just wish my adults would start breeding they are expensive!