Redecorate or leave it be ?

[zebraflavencs]

This is for the parents of grown children out there... My youngest will be leaving home for college or what not in the next 18 months... My question is this... do you redecorate or reclaim that bedroom space, or leave it be ?
Janie

 

[crypticdragons]

speaking for my mother in law. redecorate but expect them to come back and want the room still lmao.

 

[zebraflavencs]

Then that would be a no. I really am just not interested in making that place mine again, then having to surrender it...Again ! This room once was my... Queens' Solar... nice reading room, with the sun coming into it first thing in the morning.. and right off the front porch. Of course that would mean if I did redecorate, then the outside would have to be done too, for a more pleasing view.
Drat.. decisions... decisions... decisions...
Janie

 

[renich]

Tough choice, Janie. I'm not a mother of grown kids, but I can offer some food for thought. Do you have space for visitors? If someone were to visit, can you accommodate them elsewhere?

If you have no thoughts that your youngest would come back in time, I think you should re-claim your space. I've known others to do this, my parents included. I've been given my bedroom set that I had as a child. It's in storage in our house. They've kept it a bedroom, just not a child's.

My mom-in-law has re-done her youngest's room as her personal room - computer, scrapbook stuff, etc. It's a basement room. It's really nice.

So, I guess I would re-do it, but in time. I think you deserve a Queen's palace.

 

[zebraflavencs]

The chances of him returning could be good... He is autistic, and has difficulty with social situations. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
janie

 

[renich]

Ah, I would wait it out and see if he adjusts before you make any changes. It may be difficult for him to see his room changed around when he visits.

It is great that he is experiencing life on his own. Is he in one of those assistant living situations, where someone comes and helps with laundry, checkbook, etc?

 

[zebraflavencs]

Nope... I have taught him everything he needs to know to live either alone, or with others. He's been cooking full meals now for 5 years. Planning meals for 3.
Budgeting himself for 2-3. So theoretically he could make it alone. But I just didn't want to take away his space... not if he really needed it, you know ?
His level of Autism is quite high functioning, but the problem is with the social issues.
He has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.
Janie

 

[ladyknite]

My children are grown, and have all been on their own at some point, so i have a little insight here.

When my daughter first moved out (November 2005) , I had the urge to re-fill her room quickly, and did so. I soon discovered that regardless of the reasons they left home, when they were in trouble, afraid, or just home sick, they would return just as fast.

The second moved out the following August 2006.

When the next child left home (February 2007), I waited for a few months before doing anything. Then set about turning that area into my grand child's room.

At the same time, i turned the first bedroom into a guest room.

January 2008 my son moved back home, then out again in March 2008. July 2008 my daughter and grand daughter moved back in. and this month my son is moving back in again.

This parent thing never stops. Might just wanna keep it nice and simple on yourself. Use the re-decorating money on a cruise!!!!!!

 

[renich]

Nope... I have taught him everything he needs to know to live either alone, or with others. He's been cooking full meals now for 5 years. Planning meals for 3.
Budgeting himself for 2-3. So theoretically he could make it alone. But I just didn't want to take away his space... not if he really needed it, you know ?
His level of Autism is quite high functioning, but the problem is with the social issues.
He has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.
Janie

That is awesome, Janie. I was close to an autistic person in a former life. I don't know what level he was because his mom would be offended when asked. Anyway, he could grasp concepts like horse racing, basketball, baseball, etc. But had difficulty with time and money concepts. He was heavily into the news and current events. He used to keep me updated, as I stopped watching the news many years ago.

Hats off to you for doing so well with your son. That is great that he was able to perform all these tasks on his own.

 

[zebraflavencs]

lol... For me the cost of redecorating would be the use of a broom, dustpan, and the empty clothes totes ... He'll take his own bed and stuff... i get the dirt.
But the point is well made... I'll just do a clean, but leave things as they are when he moves out...
Thanks everyone !
Janie

 

[zebraflavencs]

I also am suspected of having Aspergers... I have been for the most part, self sufficient holding a job, raising my family, most of my adult life... that said.. Yes, i was offered a place in my parents home for as long as I needed it... and took them up on that... but only as long as it took for me to get back on my feet... So, I'll just leave things be.
Janie

 

[lexi]

I'm not a parent, but my younger sister (age 26) came back home after her divorce at 24 years old and just moved out a month ago... :-\

 

[DragonMom]

:-X

 

[DragonMom]

:-X

 

[Red Ink AUS]

Leave his bed in there Janie for when he stays and visits, reclaim the rest of the room for reptiles lol.

 

[zebraflavencs]

lol... But Francis.. when he comes back... He'll bring the cat... no critters with scales moved in.. cause those enclosures Are... Not... Light ? lol
Janie
It stays... though I might steam clean that love seat and plant some climbing vines.. so i have something to look out on, while i read...