Please tell me I'm doing the right thing :(

[Zilladragon23]

As you all probably know, my two beardies were a birthday gift from my mom for my twelve year old son. Well, he was really interested for about a week. I have been caring for both of them since the beginning and I am in love with both of the sweet girls. My son, aside from taking her out to play very occasionally, refuses to do anything with Hermione. I ask him to clean her cage, he won't do it. I ask him to make her salad, won't do that either. Khaleesi has kind of been "mine" from the beginning so I don't bother asking for help with her. Now obviously I don't let Hermione be neglected, I take care of all her needs. It's just that, with a full time job, an 18 month old, a twelve year old and a dog (not to mention, a husband or third child! LOL) I find it very difficult to dedicate as much time and attention as she deserves. She's the sweetest little girl it absolutely breaks my heart in pieces to think about giving her up but I want her to have the best of everything and I, unfortunately, don't think I can provide it.
My mom told me that she may want to take her for her 20 year old nephew who lives with her, but even that makes me nervous. I am the type of person who wholeheartedly believes a pet is a life long commitment and I have never had an animal (of any kind) that I have even considered giving away. My animals are my family and you don't give away your family. Anyway, I would like to get some input from you good people. Tell me what you think and give me some ideas. If my mom is not able to take her, I would have to consider rehoming her with a stranger and that scares the crap out of me. [emoji174]

 

[cholulasmama]

You could always put her on craigslist and say that you're only rehoming to experienced reptile/beardie owners. I got Cholula through craigslist only because I have owned reptiles my whole life.

 

[Dawn McNair]

That's such a hard decision. I'm the same way, much to the dismay of my hubby at times. It's why we still have horses even though I can't ride right now and none of my children are interested. I'm scared to death that something will happen if I give them to a stranger and none of my friends have room or time for horses either at the moment. I hope that you can find a solution that is good for Hermoine and eases your worries.

 

[Canicke]

Sometimes there really is no best decision. Kinda like politics - you go with the least harmful. Can you monitor Hermione's life with Mom ?

 

[Zilladragon23]

I had a talk with my son and he seemed very upset about my decision. I told him that he has one week to turn it around and take responsibility if he wants to keep her. So far this evening, he's already taken some initiative. So, we'll see I guess. Thanks everyone

 

[Dawn McNair]

I hope it lasts and y'all can keep her. I know my son has lost interest in his geckos, but I'm taking care of them. But I make him clean up the poop and once a week he has to clean this cage. If he won't pay attention, then he's doing the dirty work.

 

[PatsyB]

I hope your son does start to care for her, she does look like a real sweetheart.

I have a problem with my two also. I never feel like I have enough time to give both of them attention. When I come home from work I'm exhausted. Dexter is the first one so of course she is favored over Luci. But then you look at his little face and it melts your hear that he has to sit in his tank while she gets to go play. I somehow make it work even if I just get them both out for a 1/2 hour or so. But it's hard.

 

[cholulasmama]

I'm glad that your son has taken initiative. These babies need love and attention just like any other animal and a lot of times it's easy to forget that because they aren't furry and warm. I hope he establishes a good relationship with his lizard, they truly are rewarding pets to keep!

 

[Zilladragon23]

Yeah, I'm happy that talk lit a spark! He actually gave her a bath on his own (almost) and even handled the poop in the tub like a champ, lol. Huge deal for him!

 

[donprec]

I got Precious from CL from someone who did reptile rescue. I was completely honest with him...that I had no reptile experience and that I was getting the bearded for my son (his cat buddy that he grew up with was pts and he was devastated but was really missing not having a buddy of his own). I had deliberately steered my son's interest toward a bearded because a friend had them years ago and I never forgot how cute they were But I assured him that I was already doing everything I could to learn about them and that she would be loved and cared for here for the rest of her life.
When we went to pick her up, the man said that he was glad I was also so interested in beardeds because kids tend to get bored with them pretty easily (I assume with his rescue that was a common situation he had to deal with) but she had stolen both our hearts the first moment we got to hold her...it probably looked ridiculous but my son and I were actually fighting over who was getting to hold her and who was taking too long holding her, right in front of the man lol.
I'm very picky with the care of my pets so I never put any responsibility on my son, all he has to do is love her. I wouldn't trust he'd do things the way I would want them done anyway! I could see him not rinsing her veggies good enough, using dirty hands while he cut them, picking up the soiled paper towel in the tank but not cleaning underneath it, etc.
Anyway, my thoughts on this...I imagine Hermione is somewhere where she will have the utmost care for the rest of her life? Can you really see her getting the care in someone else's home like she does with you, albeit a little less attention than is preferable? I don't know...but I imagine being able to find people like the group of us on this forum who have total devotion to our beardeds is not so easy to come by.

 

[PatsyB]

It's funny what donpec said about not trusting his son to do things the way he would want them. I originally bought Dexter for my boyfriend. I did the research on beardies and read it all to him and when we brought Dexter home I was instantly protective of her. I do a lot of the care for both her and Luci because I've kinda pushed may way into that role, but over the last year I've learned to not look a gift horse in the mouth. If their dad wants to clean their tank go right ahead. So what if the tank wasn't cleaned or put back together the way I would have done it, at least it was done and I have more time for other things. Next time I will clean the tank and do it my way.

So with your son....I hope he continues to help take care of her. As long as he's not hurting her, let him do it his way. If he puts newspaper instead of paper towels or the food dish in the front of the tank instead of the back of the tank or takes out some of the decor, don't get upset and just let him learn what works best for Hermione. You may even realize *gulp* that his way of doing things works a little better