Beardie is terrified. My fault. Need advice.

[Cara]

Hello, I purchased a baby dragon from a local pet store about 4 weeks ago for my son. I really knew nothing about them except for a little research that we did online before purchase. I had no idea how incredibly cool and sweet these little guys are! We named him Maximus and we have had so much fun with him. My son was taking him out of his enclosure several times a day to sit in the sun outside. We have been providing ample amounts of kale, crickets and vitamin supplement. His enclosure is big with correct day and night heat lighting. He was super calm and loved to hang out on our shirts-never tried to get away. Until 2 days ago.. After cleaning his enclosure I had the bright idea to show him his reflection in a little mirror, just to see what he would do. My only reference was to having pet Betta fish in the past and watching their reaction to their reflection. I lowered the mirror into the enclosure and Maximus opened his mouth, hissed and flared his beard (which was beautiful). He then flattened his body and ran frantically to the corner as though trying to escape. Quickly realizing this little things terror I took the mirror away.
Now, every time my son or I enter the room he has the same reaction. He does not want to be picked up and if we do he tries really hard to get away. He is just so scared and I feel so bad about it. He has also jumped at both of us when we are putting food in his enclosure and has bitten us. I dont know whether to leave him alone and maybe he will forget the experience OR continue to handle him. What would be the best way to regain trust? My son is really upset that his pet is afraid of him and I am in the dog house for causing this. Any help is much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

 

[Canicke]

step back, take a breath, re-group and re-lax. he will come around. you will need to take some time. don't try to take him out of his tank for quite awhile - you'll be starting at ground zero - BUT - YOU WILL GET THERE !!!!. I recommend getting a scarf or an old t-shirt with you / your sons natural smells on it. no perfume / deodorant / fabric softener. put that in his tank where he sleeps - he will get used to your smell. if you're afraid - don't let him see it. do not even try to pick him up for a while. leave his food without bothering him at all. after a few days, try putting a finger or 2 under his chin. DO NOT PICK HIM UP. immediately back off. you may just barely touch him. the idea is to let him know you wont hurt him. do this once or twice daily for a few days. when he is comfortable with this, hold your fingers in place for a few moments. continue for a few days. when he is comfortable with this, using your fingers under his chest (NEVER pick them up from above - that's what predators do) lift him off the tank floor for just a few seconds, then put him back down. repeat for several days. Do you see the pattern? Baby steps. This will probably be hard for your son - it could take some time. On the other hand, little guy may just come around quick as a lick. When you get to the point of taking him out of his tank - take him out for 2 seconds, then put him back in. repeat etc. then take him out for a minute. repeat etc. Always do it with love and concern for him - not because you have a deadline, please.

 

[Cara]

That is wonderful advice and all of it makes total sense to me. I think he will come around and my son and I are going to work together very slowly to make it happen. We have been picking him up the wrong way also it seems. From under the belly would be much less frightening. We will follow your direction exactly and I am hopeful that our calm sweet Maximus will return.
I will keep you posted on how he is progressing! Thank you so much!

 

[laswabbie]

When I read your post it triggered a ghost of a memory from my past. I couldn't put my finger on it until it came to me in a flash.

Maximus reacted to you the same way girls did to me when I tried to talk to them in high school.

Good luck on regaining his trust!

 

[Hdrydr31]

Yea it's going to take some patience but you will regain his trust.. They are such amazing creatures.. slow movements, don't show if your afraid of him so if he hisses/gaps/lunges don't back down. Talk gently and if he's asleep make sure you get his attention before doing whatever you may be trying to do with him or enclosure. Also at night when he's getting sleepy is a good time to start getting him used to you. Once your able to get him in your hands that is.. take him out put him on your lap or belly and drape a blanket over him. That way he gets used to you and your son's smells, sounds etc..
You all can do this.

 

[Cara]

step back, take a breath, re-group and re-lax. he will come around. you will need to take some time. don't try to take him out of his tank for quite awhile - you'll be starting at ground zero - BUT - YOU WILL GET THERE !!!!. I recommend getting a scarf or an old t-shirt with you / your sons natural smells on it. no perfume / deodorant / fabric softener. put that in his tank where he sleeps - he will get used to your smell. if you're afraid - don't let him see it. do not even try to pick him up for a while. leave his food without bothering him at all. after a few days, try putting a finger or 2 under his chin. DO NOT PICK HIM UP. immediately back off. you may just barely touch him. the idea is to let him know you wont hurt him. do this once or twice daily for a few days. when he is comfortable with this, hold your fingers in place for a few moments. continue for a few days. when he is comfortable with this, using your fingers under his chest (NEVER pick them up from above - that's what predators do) lift him off the tank floor for just a few seconds, then put him back down. repeat for several days. Do you see the pattern? Baby steps. This will probably be hard for your son - it could take some time. On the other hand, little guy may just come around quick as a lick. When you get to the point of taking him out of his tank - take him out for 2 seconds, then put him back in. repeat etc. then take him out for a minute. repeat etc. Always do it with love and concern for him - not because you have a deadline, please.

When I read your post it triggered a ghost of a memory from my past. I couldn't put my finger on it until it came to me in a flash.

Maximus reacted to you the same way girls did to me when I tried to talk to them in high school.

Good luck on regaining his trust!

yes me too.
only boys. but that's ok.

Yea it's going to take some patience but you will regain his trust.. They are such amazing creatures.. slow movements, don't show if your afraid of him so if he hisses/gaps/lunges don't back down. Talk gently and if he's asleep make sure you get his attention before doing whatever you may be trying to do with him or enclosure. Also at night when he's getting sleepy is a good time to start getting him used to you. Once your able to get him in your hands that is.. take him out put him on your lap or belly and drape a blanket over him. That way he gets used to you and your son's smells, sounds etc..
You all can do this.

I have never been on a site like this so I may be messing up. BUT I so appreciate the advice. hope you get this and best wishes to you all who help me.

 

[Cara]

Yea it's going to take some patience but you will regain his trust.. They are such amazing creatures.. slow movements, don't show if your afraid of him so if he hisses/gaps/lunges don't back down. Talk gently and if he's asleep make sure you get his attention before doing whatever you may be trying to do with him or enclosure. Also at night when he's getting sleepy is a good time to start getting him used to you. Once your able to get him in your hands that is.. take him out put him on your lap or belly and drape a blanket over him. That way he gets used to you and your son's smells, sounds etc..
You all can do this.

Too soon to tell but I feel like he did a lot better today. If i had it to do over again I never would have shown him the reflection of the "super mean lizard in the mirror".
He is way bigger now than the photo. Continually shedding skin. its really awesome to see him grow so quickly.

 

[Cara]

I will give him a few days to chill out and then maybe try to touch him briefly under the chin. Really it shouldnt be that hard, he is a reptile after all. I can so do this

 

[Draeju's_world]

I'd suspect it was the flashing movement/reflected light in the mirror more than his own reflection that freaked him out.

 

[Hdrydr31]

You can't dwell on the past, it is what it is and don't beat yourself up about it we all make mistakes.

 

[xbigblockx]

Ive just gotten my beardie and besides the fact he is a lizard they are a lot like dogs they just need attention and care so they can gain your trust mine wasnt the happiest guy in the world when i brought him home but he undoubtedly had the best nature at the pet store and it has taken a few days for him to get used to me my wife and step daughter still scare him so give it time just see if he will let you pet him let him know youre friendly

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