Normally I do not post on here because I, 1) do not feel like I know as much as others here, and 2) do not spend my limited time browsing everything that is posted to this site. However, I recently posted to someone who said they had a hard time keeping the heat up in their tank. I did feel slightly attacked after my one comment that you do what you need to do to keep the heat up in a tank. Somehow my one comment because all about how I was doing wrong by using what I use for my dragon. I did stop posting on that thread since it was supposed to be about someone else, and not about how I tend to my own dragon.
Now I do appreciate all of the help that people receive on this site from those that do have more experience than I do. On the other hand, I do not like feeling attacked about how I care for my dragon. You are not in my house, my life, seeing what I have done to care for my beardie. You were not there during the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, and the thoughts of my not being the best person to take care of my pet. I did my research (which is very contradictory), I even posted on here when I was having health issues, and I have been to the local vet.
This post here is for everyone who has done their best to care for their dragon. Perhaps our best is not good enough, and sometimes **** just happens. But I want to say that at least you are trying. You are doing everything you can to make your beardie's life as great as you can. You are posting on here because you love your pet and you want them cared for as much as possible. You are amazing and I want you to always try.
For anyone that wants more information: my beardie story started when I learned that I developed an allergy to my own cat and dog, who I have had for 5-7 years. And these allergies are not just the sniffles, but full on hives when I touch them. I wanted a pet that I could actually touch and interact with. I did some research into different animals and my first thought was a snake. My wife kaboshed that real quick. So then I learned about beardies. They seemed very interesting and something that I could learn to really love and enjoy caring for. So we went to the store and bought everything I thought I needed and the dragon. Now, this store was in Colorado, so of course one stop shop. Brought him home and set him up late at night in our bedroom. The wife and I definitely could not sleep with the heat in his tank, so the next day moved him out to the main level. Now, we decided on the a lot of things before getting him: main level since that is where the thermostat is, our bedroom because it was the best place in the open concept house away from the many windows and front door, what we would feed him, his tank, accessories, how the cat and dog were going to be near him but not enough to cause him stress, etc.
I did learn very quickly that research can only get you so far. The bedroom did not work since we like our room colder so we can sleep, thus he was moved to the main level. Now, in our open concept home there were really only two options to place him: by the front door or by the extra freezer and partially into the hallway. We didn't want to hallway blocked, so front door it was. Since he was by the front door, we did the best we could to keep his heat up, and managed to maintain the correct temp for a year. During that year I had so many panic attacks and thoughts that I was the worst beardie mom and that I needed to give my dragon away to someone who knew what they were doing. He always ate his greens, but wasn't into bugs which is not good to a baby. He always seemed to hate me, never wanting to be touched, but rarely puffed the beard (only when he first met the cat).
He lost the tip of his tail due to shed not coming off properly and my scared to remove it thanks to the research I did. That was his first trip to the vet because I thought he had tail rot and may need his tail amputated at 5 months old. I also learned he has a skin condition that made it hard to shed his skin, and his skin would grow into large balls on his right arm, shoulder and neck, this was his second trip to the vet when I thought he had yellow fungus at 6 months old. This is when I really debated about my decision to get a dragon and that I was the worst, stupid, killing him and that I needed to get rid of him.
Thankfully my wife really fought to reassure me that I was doing my best. That I was researching, experimenting, learning, using resources like the vet and this forum, and growing closer to him. I have never given up a pet, and could never imagine giving up a part of the family. I finally got my head out of my a** and just did what I could.
Because of my rough experience, I do read the posts that come to my email from this forum, but I know I do not know everything and have only experienced my one dragon, so I don't feel like I need to add my two cents. So when I do add a comment, I did not appreciate the discussion suddenly being about what I am doing wrong, and not about helping the person who requested help/advice. Remember we have all been new to raising beardies and not all of us have the right answers, even if it seems like the people who post the most know it all. Each dragon is different, every home is different, every experience is different. There is no right answer. It is like having kids. Sometimes you need to cut toxic ties to be able to do what you feel is right.
My one take away from this long meandering post: You are doing your best. You are trying and that is all that can be done. Keep trying, keep learning and your beardie will be okay. **** happens and it sucks, but **** happens to people too. Genetics can get throw us for a loop and nothing can be done about some things. Just being on here is trying. Take a deep breath and know that you are enough for your dragon.
Attached is a pic of my big boy, Collins, who is just over 2 years old now.
Now I do appreciate all of the help that people receive on this site from those that do have more experience than I do. On the other hand, I do not like feeling attacked about how I care for my dragon. You are not in my house, my life, seeing what I have done to care for my beardie. You were not there during the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, and the thoughts of my not being the best person to take care of my pet. I did my research (which is very contradictory), I even posted on here when I was having health issues, and I have been to the local vet.
This post here is for everyone who has done their best to care for their dragon. Perhaps our best is not good enough, and sometimes **** just happens. But I want to say that at least you are trying. You are doing everything you can to make your beardie's life as great as you can. You are posting on here because you love your pet and you want them cared for as much as possible. You are amazing and I want you to always try.
For anyone that wants more information: my beardie story started when I learned that I developed an allergy to my own cat and dog, who I have had for 5-7 years. And these allergies are not just the sniffles, but full on hives when I touch them. I wanted a pet that I could actually touch and interact with. I did some research into different animals and my first thought was a snake. My wife kaboshed that real quick. So then I learned about beardies. They seemed very interesting and something that I could learn to really love and enjoy caring for. So we went to the store and bought everything I thought I needed and the dragon. Now, this store was in Colorado, so of course one stop shop. Brought him home and set him up late at night in our bedroom. The wife and I definitely could not sleep with the heat in his tank, so the next day moved him out to the main level. Now, we decided on the a lot of things before getting him: main level since that is where the thermostat is, our bedroom because it was the best place in the open concept house away from the many windows and front door, what we would feed him, his tank, accessories, how the cat and dog were going to be near him but not enough to cause him stress, etc.
I did learn very quickly that research can only get you so far. The bedroom did not work since we like our room colder so we can sleep, thus he was moved to the main level. Now, in our open concept home there were really only two options to place him: by the front door or by the extra freezer and partially into the hallway. We didn't want to hallway blocked, so front door it was. Since he was by the front door, we did the best we could to keep his heat up, and managed to maintain the correct temp for a year. During that year I had so many panic attacks and thoughts that I was the worst beardie mom and that I needed to give my dragon away to someone who knew what they were doing. He always ate his greens, but wasn't into bugs which is not good to a baby. He always seemed to hate me, never wanting to be touched, but rarely puffed the beard (only when he first met the cat).
He lost the tip of his tail due to shed not coming off properly and my scared to remove it thanks to the research I did. That was his first trip to the vet because I thought he had tail rot and may need his tail amputated at 5 months old. I also learned he has a skin condition that made it hard to shed his skin, and his skin would grow into large balls on his right arm, shoulder and neck, this was his second trip to the vet when I thought he had yellow fungus at 6 months old. This is when I really debated about my decision to get a dragon and that I was the worst, stupid, killing him and that I needed to get rid of him.
Thankfully my wife really fought to reassure me that I was doing my best. That I was researching, experimenting, learning, using resources like the vet and this forum, and growing closer to him. I have never given up a pet, and could never imagine giving up a part of the family. I finally got my head out of my a** and just did what I could.
Because of my rough experience, I do read the posts that come to my email from this forum, but I know I do not know everything and have only experienced my one dragon, so I don't feel like I need to add my two cents. So when I do add a comment, I did not appreciate the discussion suddenly being about what I am doing wrong, and not about helping the person who requested help/advice. Remember we have all been new to raising beardies and not all of us have the right answers, even if it seems like the people who post the most know it all. Each dragon is different, every home is different, every experience is different. There is no right answer. It is like having kids. Sometimes you need to cut toxic ties to be able to do what you feel is right.
My one take away from this long meandering post: You are doing your best. You are trying and that is all that can be done. Keep trying, keep learning and your beardie will be okay. **** happens and it sucks, but **** happens to people too. Genetics can get throw us for a loop and nothing can be done about some things. Just being on here is trying. Take a deep breath and know that you are enough for your dragon.
Attached is a pic of my big boy, Collins, who is just over 2 years old now.
at least he has someone like you to take care of it for him! You take him to daycare? What do you mean? What for?
